How would you describe me?

The original: There are a million ways to fail. I haven’t tried them all, yet.

While this statement is absolutely a truth for me, it may not be the most positive message I see everyday. I need a new slogan, a simple mission statement maybe. I need your help. So here is a little bit about me:

about Sharon
I am a loud mouth that speaks my mind but rarely my heart. (Except here)
I am a reclusive.
I don’t make friends easily, but when I do, I am loyal to a fault.
I cuss worse than any man that sailed the high seas, past or present.
I have a hard time following anything through to completion, except for a recipe.
I can bake, but not a very good cook.
I wear glasses, sometimes, though it should be all the time.
I went to a Rush concert, twice.
I like power tools and fixing things.
I am a Be-er not a Do-er.
I struggle with my weight.
I can sing, but mortified to sing in front of people, even my husband.
I can count my closest friends on one hand.
I have a dark sense of humor.
I am religious but not to any one faith.
I drink Captain and Coke, sometimes with a lime.
I’m the bad cop parent.
97% of the time I am the designated driver.
I love roller coasters but haven’t been able to get on one since I had children.
I like painted finger nails, long curly hair and almost too much makeup.
I have an aquarium with 4 fish.
I like Mr. Clean.
I want to do an Iron Man competition, which is hilarious considering the shape I am in.
I am a rebel that looks extremely conservative.
I took a test once…. Only 0.8% of the population views the world and reality the same way I do.
I struggle to be normal.
I have about 300 ink pens and 67 notebooks with nothing in them.
I have the fear that one day I will be on hoarders, so I clean out my house every 6 months.
I shop at Thrift Stores.
I do not like shopping malls.
I am a vaper.
I like Pulp Fiction, Ground Hog Day, Monty Python’s Flying Circus and The Rocky Horror Picture Show
I suffer from depression and celiac disease.
I drive an old man’s car… A Buick Rendezvous. It was my first new car. It’s 10 yrs old now.
I love Victorian homes but live in a 1980’s ranch… In suburgatory.
I grew up on a dairy farm.
I am the oldest of 4 children.
I hold onto guilt like a Catholic mother. (I can say this, I am/was one)
I am a people pleaser and it pisses me off.

So, if you had to write one sentence describing me, what would it be?

Published
Categorized as life

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