Walk On

Oh, it’s been somewhere around 25 days since I last posted.  I am now on day 29 of my smoking quit.  Over the past month, in addition to quitting smoking, I have been working on a few new habits and have done a lot of things I never thought I would do.

Things I have never done before:

  1. Bought a bicycle for myself.
  2. from a pawn shop.  It was actually the first time I had ever been in a pawn shop. I was intrigued.
  3. Cried in public for about 30 minutes because I couldn’t ride my MIL’s bike at the park (the bike was too tall for me).  That was when I decided to buy my own bike.
  4. Rode a 5 mile bike trail.

Some days I do really good with the not smoking thing.  Other days I feel like I need 8 nicotine patches. The patch has been making me sick and achy so I have been trying not to wear it very often.

I tried to quit my psuedo job.  I mean I went in, sat down with the boss, said this isn’t working out, I need full time employment, told her she would need to have someone replace me.  Her response, “Oh honey, we all have bad days. It will pass.” and walked out.  I quit answering my phone.  I quit going in to the office. I cleaned my basement.  She would call every day to ask me to do something.  I can’t say no, it’s the only money I have coming in.  She’s one of the closest friends I have and I do get paid every time she gets a listing.  That needs to be more frequently instead of twice a month.

I haven’t been sleeping well the last 3-4 nights. I wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning and can’t go back to sleep.  I was up at 3:20 this morning, thinking about my new Ryobi Blower/Vac and cleaning out my garage.  I haven’t written anything since I quit smoking, though I have been doing a lot of Cherokee Indian research.  I have been reading about their religious/cultural beliefs and learning a little bit about their language.  I am thinking about an Expedition.  Walking the Trail of Tears from Cherokee, NC to the Cherokee Nation Indian Reservation in Oklahoma. My ancestors never made this trek, at least I don’t think so.  I think they may have been some of the people that hid in the mountains and had very little contact with the outside world other than those in their small tight-nit community.  Those traits are still very dominant in my family in VA.

I don’t know why I would want to walk the Trail of Tears, but it feels like something I should do.

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