It’s been a while…

and I learned something about me. Actually, I learned a lot about me.1. I can’t do big projects – like a sewing project a day. Or 90 days of p90x. If it were P1X maybe I could exercise and feel a sense of accomplishment… or or or tackle all the miscellaneous to do items around the house, or blog consistently, or keep the house clean, or keep the car clean, well, you get the idea. The main reason for this is that I am a procrastinator. The master procrastinator.

2. I can’t do hobbies – like sew consistently, read consistently, blog consistently, garden consistently, etc.
The main reason for this is that I am easily bored.

3. I can do little projects – like make 8 jars of salsa once a year or, well I can’t think of anything else I have done.

4. I have read 1 book in the last 365 days. Eat Pray Love. That’s it. One. It however changed my way of thinking about me and the things that I do or don’t do.

I have a new guru. She isn’t a real guru, I don’t even think she knows she’s my guru. Her name is Sissy. I am not even sure if that is her real name. She lives part time in Mississippi, part time in California, part time in Arizona and the rest of the time traveling all over the world. She has this saying, “You can’t do what you are supposed to do, unless, you say Yes to the Universe.” At first, I wasn’t sure what she meant by that statement, so she explained it to me in this manner… “You can’t do what you are supposed to do, unless, you say Yes to the Universe.”

ahh, Young Grasshopper still not get it. Moving on.

Driving home from Mississippi after my visit with my MIL and Sissy, it dawned on me as I was listening to Sister Hazel sing, “If you want to be somebody else, change your mind.” Then I reflected on my reading of Eat Pray Love. “If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind”. So then, how does saying Yes to the Universe fit into all of this? Well, here’s my conclusion… I am a chicken at heart. I take the safest, easiest, and fastest route out of a tough situation. Might not be the right thing to do, but it’s what I do. I also spend a lot of time with my head buried in the sand. With my head buried in the sand, I also spend a lot of time in denial about what is going on with me and my life. While my head is in the sand in denial, I can’t see what is going on around me thus I live in fear of what is going to happen next. I am constantly exhausted by “preparing for the worst”, most of which is just a figment of my imagination and never comes to fruition. In order to say Yes to the Universe, I have to get my head out of the sand. I have to look around and see what is available to me. Looking at my world and how it “REALLY” works instead of how I “IMAGINED” it worked, took away a lot of the fear. In taking away the fear, I am opening myself up to the possibilities of my life. In opening myself, I am allowing all the things I ever wanted to do, see, or be come in to my life. I am saying Yes to the Universe.

Took me a year to figure this out.
Now. For the big project that I will be successful in completing: P1X.

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Categorized as life

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