Pardon Me

The apologetic in me would like to apologize.

I just re-read some of my posts.  I sound mean, self-centered, unhappy and desperate. Actually, I think I am all of those things.

This blog is my journal to help me transform the unhappy person I have become.  I want to get back to the happy me. I want to be the woman who used to wake up every morning with a smile on her face not begrudging The Man, the kids or the dog.  I am trying to rid myself of my martyrdom, the poor me attitude and be happy with my life again.

I believe happiness is a choice.  I also believe you have to release the things that make you unhappy. This is my way of releasing.  I am removing the negativity from my heart and placing it on these pages.  I don’t want it to be gone, totally.  I want to be able to come back, review, learn and remember but not be angry, judgmental or sabotaging. I am setting boundaries for myself. I am setting goals for my progress.

I am hopeful that one day I will come back here and read through my posts and see that my writing has been transformed to loving, happy and inspirational.

This is the last time I will judge my actions according to your standards (whoever you are).  This is the last time I will apologize for wanting something different in my life.

Please pardon me while I reform.