I am sitting at my kitchen table surrounded by a clutter of objects. My purse. My morning coffee. 300 paint swatches. An empty paint can. 3 binders of music lyrics (not written by me). Oh, and yesterday’s stack of rejected potential homes for a real estate client of mine.
I have been up since 3am. It’s 9am now. The only thing I have accomplished today is getting my husband off to work and my kid off to school. Neither of which required much of my input. Well, I did make a pot of coffee all by myself.
I have been pondering my life choices lately, mostly in regards to my career. I have a real estate sales license and a brokers license. Neither of which gets much use in the current housing market. I have started freelancing my keen computer skills to less savvy agents, some of which are neglecting to pay me. I’m not sure what I am doing wrong here. They need a service. I offer a service. I deliver on time and 99.99999% better quality than they expect. They don’t pay. WTF?
Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, “Use me! I’m short and sensitive, so I can be overlooked and neglected, but I’ll be here if you need me again.” ?
I think I need to see a neurologist. Something isn’t firing right between my little synapses.
I’m not motivated to work. At least not freelance. Not anymore. Give me the ho-hum-hum-drum drive to work, leave it at work, forget about work, go home job. At least people that hire you as an EMPLOYEE can reasonably expect that you will want to know where your paycheck is on Friday and will have it ready for you. There is something to be said for ‘working for the man’ and not having to scrounge for every little nit-picking job that may or may not come to fruition.
Do you ever watch Absolutely Fabulous on BBC? Eddy has a secretary named Bubbles. She’s dumb, she’s ditzy and when asked, “Bubbles, what is it that you do? What is your job?” She looks perplexed and replies, “uhhh, I dunno. I get paid.”
That’s all I want. A paycheck. Just a simple act of reciprocity for the work I have done. I think that’s why I have been up since 3am. Worrying about money, trying to figure out how to get them to pay me. Sending my invoices, yet again!
Mike says I should go to the sales meeting with my invoices in hand and when asked if there is any old business, I should stand up and say, “I have several unpaid invoices. When I call your name, please come forward to receive your invoice. I will be here for an hour after the meeting to accept your payment of these grossly overdue debts.”
I feel that he is right. I cannot do that. Maybe I should send them all a link to this post.